Time, Progress, and Annoying Side of Change

It is always painfully obvious when it is time for a change. The thing is, it is easier to recognize that change is necessary than to make progress towards something new. The most common problem I hear from people, either personally or professionally, is that they feel stuck.

As creatures of habit, it is important to remember that change is uncomfortable.

Sort of like grief, change is a cycle and most of us get caught in an undertow that creates an indecision spiral. Social Workers reference a cycle of change theory identified by researchers James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente in 1983 during a smoking cessation study.

Prochaska and DiClemente's Stages of Change outlines six stages towards behavioral change: Pre-contemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, Maintenance, and Relapse. Within the Stages of Change, people have the opportunity to learn from each relapse which consists of self-preservation mechanisms triggered by the uncomfortable journey of change.

When it comes to life and business, I call the "relapse" phase procrastination and its undertow–the indecision spiral. The majority of clients or friends who are seeking advice are navigating in the fog of an indecision spiral.

Indecision Spiral + Cycle of Change

It seems like the most tedious part would be identifying the root problem, deciding how you are going to change, outlining how to facilitate change, or even acting on your action plan–but when things get less predictable, we freak out and convince ourselves that something isn't working.

The truth is, sitting in discomfort allows you to learn and growing pains are not roadblocks.

Acknowledging that the process is hard and still pushing forward is both the intention of change and the biggest hurdle to overcome.

To pull myself out of an indecision loop, I start asking myself the same questions every day:

• What do you want?

• How can you get there?

• What is currently working?

• What is missing?

• What needs to change?

This grounding process allows me to accept that every moment is a new opportunity and change doesn't need to be confined to timeframe because milestones are not revolutionary–actions are.

A saying I heard that helped me better actualize this understanding is (paraphrased) "your life consists of the things you pay attention to"; and perspective is key! People take a backseat to circumstance but we are the ones who get stuck. Everything else just moves along.

Asking myself to answer the same questions prompts me to reflect, acknowledge, and adjust. It helps me to negotiate what comes next without avoiding: what is happening, what is triggering, or what needs to be reworked. This exercise also allows my clients and teams to check in during iterative implementation to identify roadblocks or predict risks–making the realities of change less startling.

Progress is progress. It is important to revel in the journey as much as we do its destination.